9-year-old son chooses to live with grandparents instead of with stepmom and half-siblings, they spend years demanding to know if he regrets the decision: ‘Your mom was never my parent’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jul 16, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

All the best soap operas and dramatic TV shows have at least one storyline that dives into a custody battle over a child. In those storylines, something happens to the parents, and those who are left behind – whether they are other family members, a romantic partner, or simply close friends are left to fight over who gets to raise the child they left behind.

Even though the first instinct is to have the child go to the closest family member, it's not necessarily the best option for the kid. More often than not, a relative is not actually someone the kid knows and trusts, and it's not an easy transition to have them become the primary guardian. Other times, a kid's wish is to stay as close to the family, even while there is a step-parent or romantic partner who is ready to step up and take care of them.

So, what is the best option for a child?

Setting aside the soapy dramatics, what's best for a child is not something that can be easily answered, and the story below is a perfect proof of that.

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  • When the kid below had to choose whether he wanted to live with his stepmom or grandparents, he chose his grandparents. But even now, decades later, the stepmom and her children are not thrilled about this decision, and they are not afraid to show it…

  • 01

    AITA for telling my half siblings I will never regret choosing to live with my grandparents over them and their mom?

    I (33m) lost both of my parents by the time I was 10. My mom when I was 5 and my dad when I was 9. My dad had remarried and had a kid with his wife and
    via Beuderud
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10528945152
    via Pablo Merchan

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 03
    they had another on the way when he did. My grandparents and dad's widow fought for custody of me and because I wanted to be with my
    via Beuderud
  • 04
    grandparents, they won the custody battle. I didn't spend a lot of time with my half siblings back then and I resisted playing
    via Beuderud
  • 05
    happy families with them and their mom. She wanted me with them and she felt like I belonged with them but I felt like I belonged with my real
    via Beuderud
  • 06
    family and luckily that's where I was. For years I had no contact with my half siblings at all.
    via Beuderud
  • 07
    This all changed three years ago when they reached out and said they wanted to know me and have me in their lives. We talk once a month and DM
    via Beuderud
  • 08
    a little in between. They want the relationship with me more than I do. But even more than that, they have expressed on a number of occasions that
    via Beuderud
  • 09
    they feel like the courts made the wrong decision and they feel my choice was wrong. They keep looking for me to regret the choice. And they have
    via Beuderud
  • 10
    mentioned several times that their mom has longed for a relationship with me and misses me.
    via Beuderud
  • 11
    A few times they called their mom my mom. I corrected them and would always make it clear I never considered her my mom.
    via Beuderud
  • 12
    They never understood this and they questioned me on this and I always answered. Last time we talked they told me they need to hear
    via Beuderud
  • 13
    me say I regret choosing to live with my grandparents over them and their mom. They said it's something that haunted their family for years. And they need to
    via Beuderud
  • 14
    know if I could go back I'd make a different decision. I told them that would be a lie and I have never regretted it. I told them
    via Beuderud
  • 15
    being raised by my family was better than being raised by the woman my dad married. I said I never thought of her as a parent or as my family.
    via Beuderud
  • 16
    Cheezburger Image 10528945408
    via Pablo Merchan

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 17
    They asked me how I could get to my age and have kids (I have three) and feel that way. They told me being raised by a parent would have been better
    via Beuderud
  • 18
    than being raised by grandparents. I said if I had a parent then yes, but I didn't. Both my parents are de d and their mom was never one of mine. Then
    via Beuderud
  • 19
    they had me confirm my lack of regret and they said I was cold and should have a heart considering their mom fought so hard for me and loved me as her own.
    via Beuderud
  • 20
    I refused to apologize and they were more than happy to talk at me for hours about how awful I am. Instead of listening I ended the call. AITA?
    via Beuderud
  • 21
    dollvines NTA. They're mad you didn't trana bond with their mom just because she wanted to be your mom. You were a gring kid, not a consolation prize. Choosing
    via dollvines
  • 22
    your grandparents wasn't cold it was choosing love and stability. They need therapy, not your regret.
    via dollvines
  • 23
    evil-mouse So they are angry because their fantasy and your reality don't match.
    via evil-mouse
  • 24
    Material_Assumption NTA - how could they possibly know your life would have been better? I dont know man, they have an unhealthy obsession over something that can't be undone. Move forward.
    via Material_Assumption
  • 25
    RavenclawEC NTA, as you said, she is not your parent and there was no reason for you to want to live with them when you had loving grandparents willing to raise you...
    via RavenclawEC
  • 26
    You have a right to your feelings and them to theirs, however, trying to pressure you to express regret on something you obviously don't its a bit manipulative and entitled, and it is weird they keep insisting on it.
    via RavenclawEC

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family drama aita kids mother siblings stepmom reddit story parenting family grandparents Reddit son half siblings parents children Father
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